12/12/12

The more things change, the more they... well... become different, actually.

Below is a chart comparing and contrasting some random facts and events from 1912 and 2012.

1912	2012
A first class stamp cost $0.02.	A first class stamp costs $.45.
There were 95,335,000 people living in the U.S., 1,650,000,000 worldwide.	There are 314,923,000 people living in the U.S., 7,057,950,000 worldwide.
The average life expectancy for a male in the U.S. was 47.	The average life expectancy for a male in the U.S. is 75.6.
Best selling car in the U.S.: Ford Model T.	Best selling car in the U.S.: Ford F-Series trucks.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. (1,063 ft)	The tallest structure in the world is the Burj Khalifa, in Dubai, UAE. (2,717 ft)
The Titanic sank, killing over 1500 people.	The Titanic movie was re-released, grossing over $57 million.
New Mexico and Arizona became the 47th and 48th States, respectively.	New Mexico and Arizona each file petitions for secession from the United States.
U.S. athletes brought home 25 gold medals from the Stockholm Olympics. 28 nations competed.	U.S athletes brought home 46 gold medals from the London Olympics. 204 nations/regions competed.
The first Bay to Breakers race was run in San Francisco. American runner Bobby Vlught won with a time of 44:10.	The 101st Bay to Breakers race was run in San Francisco. Kenyan runner Sammy Kitwara won with a time of 34:41.
Edgar Rice Burrows' character Tarzan first appears in the pulp magazine, The All-Story, delighting audiences and inspiring two dozen sequels.	Edgar Rice Burrow's character John Carter first appeared on the big screen, disappointing audiences and inspiring countless yawns.
Lucy Maud Montgomery publishes Chronicles of Avonlea, a fictionalized account of life in a small town in Canada.	Michele Feltman Strider publishes Hometown, a fictionalized account of life in a small town in the United States.
The Girl Scouts organization was founded by Juliette Gordon Low.	I finally come to terms with my Thin Mint Thighs and Shortbread Bum.

Today's lesson: I spend far too much time on Wikipedia.

Next: Something about King Tides. Maybe.

The Yummish Holiday Letter

Greetings!

I can't believe this year has come and gone so slowly. That extra day back in February really threw off my finely tuned system. It will be such a relief to return to the normal 365-day-per-year rhythm at the first of the year, assuming we survive the end of the Mayan calendar.

On the subject of harmonic convergences, my graduating class will celebrate our 100-year high school reunion next Spring... or summer... or whenever they schedule such things. Due to my advanced age, I don't precisely recall. I'm sure someone will send me an invitation or notice or business reply envelope with suggested donation amounts printed on the back.

Speaking of awkwardly strong-arming acquaintances into writing checks, my second book came out last March. Titled Hometown, it is currently available on Amazon.com in exchange for any number of cash equivalents.

The cats continue their reign of feline terror unabated and have established dominion over 75% of our living space, with the remaining 25% under the constant threat of invasion. All of our clothes, shoes, furniture, and electronics have suffered damage in the onslaught, with the cats often attacking our supplies of food and water as well. However, given sufficient tributes of furry toy mice, Whisker Lickin's treats, and cardboard boxes, we have found them to be benevolent, even affectionate, overlords.

In an effort to improve our understanding of the social and technological challenges humanity will face in the future, Jim and I undertook a revolutionary course of online study. After months of dedicated effort, we are both very proud to say that we have watched EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of both the original Star Trek television series and The Next Generation. We expect a certificate of completion from Netflix University to arrive in the next 6-8 weeks. 

We've also done a bit of traveling in the past year. In fact, we've been going essentially nonstop for the last 12 months and we are pleased to announce that we have (again!) circumnavigated the sun in a mere 52 weeks. We hope to continue our journeys in the new year.

As the year draws to a close, I leave you with this wish for 2013 – a prayer of sorts: Illegitimi non carborundum. 

Wishing you and yours the happiest and yummiest of holidays!

Sincerely,
Michele Strider
& The Yummish Council

Today's lesson: There might have been something in that eggnog...

Next: Dunno... Got any more of that 'nog?

The Second Epistle to St. Nick

Dear Santa Claus,

I take my pen in hand to write a few lines that let you know I have conducted myself very well over the past twelvemonth and to say how much I look forward to your upcoming visit on the evening of December 24.

Your annual call is truly a highlight of my year. In preparation therefor, I have acquired fresh, whole cow's milk (currently stored in a cold, humidity-controlled environment), added a collection of brightly colored hosiery to my home's feng shui, and gathered together the ingredients for several varieties of home-baked treats. I expect it to be a very enjoyable evening all around and hope you do as well.

In response to your anticipated query “what can I bring,” the answer is, of course, only your own dear self. However, should you feel irresistibly compelled, any or all of the following would be a most welcome addition to the holiday celebration:

• A bottle of scotch from the year my husband was born
• A pair of flares from the year I was born
• Three vertical inches (the repurposing of horizontal inches is highly encouraged)
• A hockey season (and/or a new commissioner for the NHL)
• Mjölnir
• An improved Netflix interface on the Xbox
• A “Noah's Ark”-style collection of two each of all of the world's motorcycles
• The instant and effortless knowledge of Mandarin
• Another Firefly movie
• A revised pricing structure for online subscriptions to The New York Times
• Six weeks in Taos, all expenses paid
• Deborah Ann Woll's complexion
• Carl Kasell's voice on my home answering machine or voice mail system
• Omnipotent omniscience
• Rainbow toe socks

As you may recall from years previous, our current abode is warmed by gas heat, making the front door, as opposed to your standard means of entrance, the more comfortable option.

Again, I look forward to your visit with eager anticipation and wish you safe and pleasant travels.

Sincerely yours,
Michele Feltman Strider


Today's lesson: Santa is real. I'm imaginary.

Next: The Yummish Holiday Letter