Summer Solstice: A Stone Sol Picnic of Randomness

If I could be anywhere today, it would be Svalbad, Norway*, where they are currently experiencing the phenomenon of the Midnight Sun. I imagine they're having quite a party. If I were there, they certainly would be.** Skål, y'all!  

The summer solstice gives us an excuse to use the word “Ptolemaic.” Also, “astrolabe.” I suggest taking full advantage of this. 

While at work today, if you say exasperatedly, “this is the longest day,” you will be correct.

As one of the more melanin deficient persons on the planet, I welcome the waning sunlight and slow return to wintery darkness as much as I welcome the resultant return to more flesh-concealing clothing. Fish belly white!

Whatever your skin tone, wear sunscreen. And a hat. I'm partial to the Divided line from H&M, but you already knew that. Lucky hat!

Did you read about the solar flare?

The diameter of the sun is 109x larger than that of the earth and the volume something on the order of a million to one. One good solar belch and the entirety*** of human history could be gone in a flash. Dangerous stuff, this solar orbit business.

It takes about 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun to the Earth's surface, giving you enough time to microwave a bag of popcorn before the end of the world, but not to eat it. Therefore, in the event of catastrophic solar failure, we suggest cold cereal as a last meal. 

Today Neopagans in the Northern Hemisphere celebrate the holiday of “Midsummer.” Hooray for the Neopagans!**** They always seem to be up for a party. They may have more holidays than even the Yummish. (They also seem to be very active on Wikipedia.)

Only 186 shopping days left until Christmas!


Today's exercise: Enjoy the longest day of the year! 

Next: The piece on summer fairs I mentioned before.


*Though, if someone were giving away free trips to Hawaii, it's not like I would turn it down.

**I like to think I bring the party. That's not true, but I like to think it, anyway.

***Except for what we've preserved on the Voyager spacecraft. Go NASA!

****What exactly qualifies a group as “Neopagan?” I wonder if they'd be willing to consider us a sub-sect?

The Seventh Yummish Saint

The Father of both modern music and 20 human beings, the Yummish Council thought it was only appropriate to announce the canonization of the Seventh Yummish Saint on Father's Day (US).

Johann Sebastian Bach

Now one of the best known composers in the world, Johann Sebastian Bach spent his life working in relative anonymity. A sometimes challenging and cantankerous man to those who did not understand his genius, Bach was driven not by the pursuit of fame and wealth but of musical perfection. (Reminds me of someone else I know...)

In his own words, “The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul.”

In addition to his genius as a musician, St. Bach had other Yummish qualities. For example, did we mention that he fathered 20* children? It is safe to say we can guess at least one Yummish activity he enjoyed. As a young man, he was once castigated for taking a young lady into the choir loft, unchaperoned. (Racy!) Another time, St. Bach was accused of nipping out of church to visit the wine cellar during the sermon. (Tell me you've never been tempted to do the same.) We also suspect, based on the following quote, that St. Bach might also have enjoyed interceding with St. Alfred of Peets.

“Bring me a bowl of coffee before I turn into a goat.”

That sounds like someone else I know, but then, who hasn't felt like that on a Monday?

Bach wrote over 1000 pieces of music, both secular and religious. Regarded as both intellectually challenging and emotionally affecting, Bach's work created a bridge from the Baroque music of his day to the modern masters. Beethoven called him “The immortal God of harmony,” and Brahms said “Study Bach: there you will find everything.”

Even beyond the gift of his own compositions, St. Bach gave us the tools that would eventually allow musicians to take music in fabulous, unexpected new directions that had literally not been possible before. Even if you never listen to classical music, you enjoy the results of his pedagogy. Without St. Bach's “The Well-Tempered Clavier” as both an example of and lesson how to navigate the wider and more nuanced “well-tempered” tonal scale, we would never have had The Beatles, Charles Mingus, Hank Williams, Philip Glass, or Lady Gaga, etc. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are hearing Bach's legacy all up and down the dial and all over YouTube.

On this Father's Day, take a moment to remember the man who made possible every album you have ever owned, the father of modern music – St. Bach.



Today's exercise: Get Bach!

Next: Maybe a piece on summer fairs... Which might require research, which would definitely involve a funnel cake. (I <3 Fried Wads of Dough!)


*That was a different, pre-over population, pre-modern medicine era and only half of those children survived to adulthood. (Bach's second wife was 17 years his junior, also like someone else I know. Hmmm...)

When I Win the Lottery

At a recent meeting, the Yummish Council made what we hope will be a life-changing decision. A debate was held and all opinions considered, and after thoughtful deliberation, we are confident in our conclusion.

My CA state lotto ticket, sure to win.

We've decided to win the lottery.

The resolution being signed, stamped and thoroughly toasted, I can only assume extraordinary monetary wealth will very soon be delivered unto me and figured it behooved me to start making plans for its use right away.


Michele's Post-Lottery Checklist

Get a cabin in the Humboldt or Mendocino County redwoods. Hug trees daily.

Devote as much time as is necessary to determine once and for all how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

Crunch hard candies. Break off teeth. Buy new teeth. Crunch more hard candy.

Commission my own spicy ginger-flavored jellybean from Jelly Belly named “HotGingerMess.”

Spend six months exploring new and exciting applications for butterscotch sauce.

Hire a personal trainer to come to my home three times a week. Spend each visit sitting on the couch eating chocolate chip cookies and watching friends' web series on YouTube while ignoring said trainer.

Daily massage, in home/cabin sauna and hot tub, personal chef... 

Hire Thomas Keller to come to my home to cook for me. Ask him to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (I really like PBJs.)

Write, produce and star in a Lifetime Original Movie about myself. Pay people to watch.

Buy Firefly. Give to Nathan.

Sail around the world. Visit the International Space Station. Ride in Alvin to the ocean floor.

Get my cat therapy for her anxiety issues. Get a place on the beach for mine.

Go everywhere. Eat everything.


Today's exercise: Dream on!

Next: A special Father's Day post and new Yummish Saint!