There are all sorts of nasty things I could say about my home town. I know because I've practiced. You might say it was my major course of study in high school. Then I graduated, largely because no one could stand the continued sight of me, and I finally had the whole world in front of me with no family or obligations to hold me back.
So, of course, I immediately married a hometown boy with family ties deep enough to be genetically suspect. It was not at all unusual to be at the Piggly Wiggly with Gary only to find that everyone in the store was his relative, of some sort or another. I have no living family to speak of and only one half of one generation residing below ground, so you can imagine how thrilled his family was to add me to their tree. When we got married I was told that their old family bible had been lost in hurricane Frederick, but I suspect Gary's mother, Irene, – an aggressively thin woman with hard gray eyes -- had hidden it rather than add my name to that most sacred of genealogies. That was actually fine with me, since I have terrible handwriting and never have developed a satisfactory trademark signature.
Everyone suspected that I was pregnant when we made the announcement (complete with short engagement period) about a week after my graduation ceremony and my size did little to dispel that rumor. It was Mrs. Harris, my friend Tanya's mama, who convinced me to lose weight before the big day, saying my wedding photos were the most important pictures I would ever have taken and it was vital to look as much like the movie stars in the magazines as possible. She's a hairdresser and has been married three times, so has a lot of experience with weddings. For the six weeks before the wedding I worked my ass literally off and, on the day, I managed to close the zipper of that size 12 dress. It was the smallest I had ever been. I thought my mother-in-law-to-be would be pleased with my improved appearance, but instead she grew more and more horrified with each dropped pound. My decreasing waistline could only mean that I was not, as she suspected, knocked up, and it was not a sense of duty that was compelling her son to marry me. He had, in truth, simply settled.
The above quotation is the first 407 words of my current work-in-progress. Unfortunately, recently, I've had more work, so there's been less progress than I would have liked. Therefore, I am going to take a one week hiatus from updating The Yummish Faith blog, in order to concentrate on this new novel.
Should you find that you just can't take an entire 7 days without reading my nonsense, may I suggest you consider obtaining my first book, “Homecoming,” now available from Amazon.com.
Today's exercise: Please don't forget your Yummish Faith over the next week.
Next: The necessity of rest and relaxation.