Exercise: A Masochistic Celebration of The Body Beautiful

We'd like to begin by assuring you that we have no intention of preaching to you about the joy of “the runner's high,” as we are firm in our belief that there is no such thing.

Exercise, by it's nature, is physically challenging. Even if you are so fortunate as to find an activity that tickles your masochistic pleasure centers, in order to be effective, exercise must be, to some degree, difficult. (read: unYummish) For the Yummish, the Yum of exercise comes later, after the unpleasantness of clingy and unflattering active wear and stinky, moist sneakers has been put away.

First, though few people look good while exercising, everyone looks better after exercising. Over the long term, exercise helps your body look its personal best by strengthening, toning, reducing and enlarging to taste. In the short term, cleansing sweat and increased circulation are good for the complexion. Also, some activities require semi-adorable outfits like tennis skirts or yoga pants, which can lead to the tangential Yum of shopping.

Next, if you exercise on a regular basis, your body will begin to feel better overall, as your strength and stamina increase. You will have more energy and ability to do the things you find Yummish, such as shopping*.

Also, regular exercise increases your metabolism, allowing you to indulge in Yummy treats without concern or regret. Thirty minutes or so of exercise seems a reasonable exchange for getting to order dessert. We like to think of it as the carrot cake at the end of the stick.

Lastly, there is our favorite indulgence afforded by regular exercise – the joy of blowing it off. The greater your dedication in general, the greater the pleasure in granting yourself a brief holiday – just as we intend to do today. We might even celebrate with a cookie.

Today's exercise: Don't. (Tomorrow's exercise: Do!)

Next: An Election Day Message from The Cocktail Party


*It has been over a month since our last pilgrimage to Yummish Shrine of Tacky Acquisition H&M and it may be starting to tell on us.