Monday, November 21, 2011

What I Learned From The Muppets

In honor of newly canonized Yummish Saint, Jim Henson:
Kermit the Frog: Sufficient imagination can transform an old coat and a ping-pong ball into one of the most beloved children's characters in history.

Gonzo: You don't need talent or good looks to succeed in show business... if you are willing to be continually humiliated and subject to injury. (The patron saint of reality TV?)

Miss Piggy: a) Sex appeal excuses even the worst behavior. b) Girls should learn to love their curves... and to throw a mean "karate-chop."
Don't hate moi because I'm beautiful.

Fozzie Bear: Oft-repeated catch-phrases are an acceptable substitute for wit

Dr. Teeth: Musicians are the coolest, even if they are made out of foam and felt.

The Electric Mayhem: a) Best band name ever. b) Best backing band ever. (Kris Kristofferson, Joan Baez, Rita Moreno, Paul Simon, Harry Belafonte, Jean-Pierre Rampal... They played with them all!)

Sam the Eagle: Ultra-conservative blowhards are funny. (I keep expecting him to show up as a commentator for Fox News.)

The Swedish Chef: a) It is perfectly acceptable to break dishes and throw utensils hither, thither, and yon while preparing a meal. b) Cröonchy Stars was an awesome breakfast cereal, but if you ask for it at your local IKEA, they will give you a dirty look.  

The original inspiration for “Mythbusters"?
Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker: It's funny when things go horribly awry and the skinny red-haired guy gets hurt.

Pigs in Space: Pigs are surprisingly well adapted to space travel. (Still my favorite sci-fi show.)

Statler and Waldorf: It's really, really fun to be really, really mean.

...But the muppet who has had, hands-down, the greatest influence over my daily behavior and way of thinking: Animal
The resemblance is uncanny, no?

Today's lesson: Appreciate those odd things from your childhood that helped shaped you into the awesome person you are now.

Next: Cinnamon Chubbies!

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