Monday, December 12, 2011

Santa Claus vs. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Below is a chart comparing and contrasting two of the world's most beloved/tweeted about folk heroes: Father Christmas and Lisbeth Salander, of the Millennium Series


Note: This post was written after consuming two glasses of Shiraz... which may also benefit the reading thereof.

Spoiler Alert: If you haven't yet read the books* or seen the (excellent) original films,**  none of this is going to make a damn bit of sense. My apologies.

Santa Claus
Lisbeth Salander
Jolly old elf Elfish avenging riot grrrl
Lives at the North Pole Lives in Sweden, which most Americans think is pretty much the same thing
Fictional character based on an historical personage Fictional character – and internet rumors abound
The subject of multiple “family friendly” movies The subject of multiple “friendly family” movies
Knows when you're sleeping/awake Knows when you're online
Wears black leather boots Wears black leather boots
Most PETA-offending accessory: Fur Most PETA-offending accessory: Leather
Punishes the naughty with a stocking full of coal Punishes the naughty with a Molotov cocktail
Ropes and ties reindeer to his sled Roped and tied a rapist to his bed
Christmas Day arrival eagerly anticipated by good little children around the world Christmas Day arrival eagerly anticipated by generally disaffected, alternachicks around the world***

Today's lesson: Seriously? You're looking for a take-away from this?

Next: The Twelve Days of Yumness

*If you haven't yet had the chance, I assume it's because you've been too busy reading Homecoming – and, really, who could blame you?

**Noomi Rapace forever!

***Or whatever... Too lazy to look up the release information on IMDb... (If you should feel so industrious, give my blank-head profile a look/like while you're there.)

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