Vampires vs Superheroes

According to Pop Culture, the two most important and rewarding career paths open to young people today are “Comic Book Superhero” and “Vampire.”

During this Back-to-School period, when so many of our young people are thinking about their futures and weighing the options open to them, I felt it would be appropriate to compare and contrast the these popular choices.

You're welcome.

Comic Book Superheroes	Vampires
“Do-gooder”	“Blood-sucker”
Wardrobe palette: primary colors	Wardrobe palette: black
Flies around helping people	Flies around eating people
Limited to two dimensions	Limited to nighttime
Motivation: early childhood trauma leading to a life of vigilantism	Motivation: hunger
Known associates: police, elderly servants and/or relatives, sexually confused youth	Known associates: other vampires, werewolves, Anna Paquin
Main antagonist: brilliant-but-insane super-villain bent on world domination/destruction	Main antagonist: the sun
Primary Assistant: sidekick	Primary Assistant: minion
Common Habitats: secret lairs, telephone booths, Halls of Justice	Common Habitats: graveyards, mausoleums, sexy goth night clubs
Affinity for long, dramatic capes: Yes	Affinity for long, dramatic capes: Yes
Ability to wear spandex in public without embarrassment	Year-round leather
Potential sex appeal as a Halloween costume: 7	Potential sex appeal as a Halloween costume: 10
View from the Whedonverse: The Avengers	View from the Whedonverse:   Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Best Genre Flick Featuring Rutger Hauer: Batman Begins	Best Genre Flick Featuring Rutger Hauer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MPAA warning: Violence, Language	MPAA warning: Violence, Language, Nudity, Sexual Situations

Today's lesson: Netflix owns my brain.

Next: Posting will be sketchy for the next week or so, as I'll be in ABQ, NM attempting to eat my weight in green chile. (Any Blake's fans out there?)