Friday, August 31, 2012

Vampires vs Superheroes

According to Pop Culture, the two most important and rewarding career paths open to young people today are “Comic Book Superhero” and “Vampire.”

During this Back-to-School period, when so many of our young people are thinking about their futures and weighing the options open to them, I felt it would be appropriate to compare and contrast the these popular choices.

You're welcome.

Comic Book Superheroes
“Do-gooder” “Blood-sucker”
Wardrobe palette: primary colors Wardrobe palette: black
Flies around helping people Flies around eating people
Limited to two dimensions Limited to nighttime
Motivation: early childhood trauma leading to a life of vigilantism Motivation: hunger
Known associates: police, elderly servants and/or relatives, sexually confused youth Known associates: other vampires, werewolves, Anna Paquin
Main antagonist: brilliant-but-insane super-villain bent on world domination/destruction Main antagonist: the sun
Primary Assistant: sidekick Primary Assistant: minion
Common Habitats: secret lairs, telephone booths, Halls of Justice Common Habitats: graveyards, mausoleums, sexy goth night clubs
Affinity for long, dramatic capes: Yes Affinity for long, dramatic capes: Yes
Ability to wear spandex in public without embarrassment Year-round leather
Potential sex appeal as a Halloween costume: 7 Potential sex appeal as a Halloween costume: 10
View from the Whedonverse:
The Avengers
View from the Whedonverse:  
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Best Genre Flick Featuring Rutger Hauer: Batman Begins Best Genre Flick Featuring Rutger Hauer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MPAA warning: Violence, Language MPAA warning: Violence, Language, Nudity, Sexual Situations

Today's lesson: Netflix owns my brain.

Next: Posting will be sketchy for the next week or so, as I'll be in ABQ, NM attempting to eat my weight in green chile. (Any Blake's fans out there?)

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