Friday, June 17, 2011

When I Win the Lottery

At a recent meeting, the Yummish Council made what we hope will be a life-changing decision. A debate was held and all opinions considered, and after thoughtful deliberation, we are confident in our conclusion.

My CA state lotto ticket, sure to win.
We've decided to win the lottery.

The resolution being signed, stamped and thoroughly toasted, I can only assume extraordinary monetary wealth will very soon be delivered unto me and figured it behooved me to start making plans for its use right away.

Michele's Post-Lottery Checklist

Get a cabin in the Humboldt or Mendocino County redwoods. Hug trees daily.

Devote as much time as is necessary to determine once and for all how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

Crunch hard candies. Break off teeth. Buy new teeth. Crunch more hard candy.

Commission my own spicy ginger-flavored jellybean from Jelly Belly named “HotGingerMess.”

Spend six months exploring new and exciting applications for butterscotch sauce.

Hire a personal trainer to come to my home three times a week. Spend each visit sitting on the couch eating chocolate chip cookies and watching friends' web series on YouTube while ignoring said trainer.

Daily massage, in home/cabin sauna and hot tub, personal chef... 

Hire Thomas Keller to come to my home to cook for me. Ask him to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (I really like PBJs.)

Write, produce and star in a Lifetime Original Movie about myself. Pay people to watch.

Buy Firefly. Give to Nathan.

Sail around the world. Visit the International Space Station. Ride in Alvin to the ocean floor.

Get my cat therapy for her anxiety issues. Get a place on the beach for mine.

Go everywhere. Eat everything.

Today's exercise: Dream on!

Next: A special Father's Day post and new Yummish Saint!

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