The truth is, not everyone is into Valentines Day. In fact, some people find it down right obnoxious.
The Yummish holiday, Bonding Day, offers one alternative, celebrating all of the loving connections in a person's life rather than just the romantic ones.
Still, there are times when a person might find even that to be painful/unsatisfying/inconvenient/otherwise unappealing.
To them, I say, “Consider Lupercalia.”
Lupercalia is a pre-Roman holiday of uncertain origin and unclear focus. According to my exhaustive research,* what we do know is that it:
A) was celebrated around this time of year.
B) involved burned sacrifices and flogging.**
C) had something to do with wolves.
Since we aren't exactly sure what our ancient ancestors were celebrating or how they celebrated it, there are no pre-established social expectations or pressures associated with Lupercalia. (Though we do know that during one Lupercalia celebration Cicero derided Anthony for being nudus, unctus, ebrius – naked, oiled, and drunk – which has its possibilities.) In fact, it is less a holiday than the outline of one – complete with a really cool sounding name.
This February 14, if you find that you need an antidote to all of the paper hearts, boxes of waxy chocolate, and flowery sentiment, it is time to get your wolf on.
Below are some suggested lupine elements for your celebration:
The Yummish holiday, Bonding Day, offers one alternative, celebrating all of the loving connections in a person's life rather than just the romantic ones.
Still, there are times when a person might find even that to be painful/unsatisfying/inconvenient/otherwise unappealing.
To them, I say, “Consider Lupercalia.”Lupercalia is a pre-Roman holiday of uncertain origin and unclear focus. According to my exhaustive research,* what we do know is that it:
A) was celebrated around this time of year.
B) involved burned sacrifices and flogging.**
C) had something to do with wolves.
Since we aren't exactly sure what our ancient ancestors were celebrating or how they celebrated it, there are no pre-established social expectations or pressures associated with Lupercalia. (Though we do know that during one Lupercalia celebration Cicero derided Anthony for being nudus, unctus, ebrius – naked, oiled, and drunk – which has its possibilities.) In fact, it is less a holiday than the outline of one – complete with a really cool sounding name.
This February 14, if you find that you need an antidote to all of the paper hearts, boxes of waxy chocolate, and flowery sentiment, it is time to get your wolf on.
Below are some suggested lupine elements for your celebration:
- Red Wolf – a fine cheap beer. Matches my hair color.
- Wolf Brand Chili
- One of the many fine wolf-themed films,*** like...um... well... I'm sure there have been some...****
- One of the many fine werewolf-themed movies like “Underworld”, “Wolfen”, or “Teen Wolf”***
- Castle Wolfenstein – gaming in all it's 8-bit glory
- Wolf Larsen, Mr. Wolf, The Big Bad Wolf, Sheriff Lobo
- Pretty much anything written by Jack London or the Brothers Grimm
- Eat takeout from California Pizza Kitchen, while listening to “The Magic Flute” and watching CNN.*****
- Los Lobos, Howlin' Wolf, Wolfman Jack
- “Peter and the Wolf” ,“Hungry Like the Wolf”, “Werewolves of London”
- Wear shearling
Today's lesson: Get loopy!
Next: A week of me whining about my advanced age. Consider yourself warned.
__________________________________________
*Googling “Lupercalia” and reading the first three results
**But, then, don't all really good parties?
***Stop hating, hater. 80s teen flicks rule.
***Haven't yet seen “The Grey.” But I will. Trust me. I will.
****Not “Dances With Wolves”... Never “Dances With Wolves”... I'd rather be slapped in the face with a wet fish than watch “Dances With Wolves”...
*****Wolfgang Puck, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Wolf Blitzer
Next: A week of me whining about my advanced age. Consider yourself warned.
__________________________________________
*Googling “Lupercalia” and reading the first three results
**But, then, don't all really good parties?
***Stop hating, hater. 80s teen flicks rule.
***Haven't yet seen “The Grey.” But I will. Trust me. I will.
****Not “Dances With Wolves”... Never “Dances With Wolves”... I'd rather be slapped in the face with a wet fish than watch “Dances With Wolves”...
*****Wolfgang Puck, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Wolf Blitzer
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