Thursday, June 10, 2010

Consecrating Your Yummish Temple

As mentioned in the treatise on Yummish Thanksgiving, the Yummish consider their homes to be Temples. The Yummish Temple is a sacred place consecrated to the development of your personal Yum and the pursuit of the universal YUM; a source of great spiritual power as well as a good place to get a fresh change of socks and a cup of tea. This Temple is the repository of many of your most sacred Yummish fetishes, such as your bed, couch, favorite coffee mug, fuzzy slippers, and that really awful but cozy pair of sweatpants you can't/won't wear anywhere else (except to the corner store to buy an overpriced real sugar Coke bottled in Mexico or maybe to that funky little sushi joint across the street). Most importantly, the Temple is a safe, comfortable staging ground for your Yummish rituals, both prescribed and personal.

Often this point is misunderstood to mean that only acts performed within the Temple are truly Yummish rituals. That, of course, is a misconception. The Yummish can worship everywhere – in the park, surrounded by nature or in the bakery, surrounded by cupcakes. However, it is important to practice at least some of your devotionals in your Temple, as that is how you keep it consecrated to the YUM.

Another aspect of this sanctification is preservation and renewal. That means you must do housework. No whining. Every religion has its down side and this one is better than piercing your entire body with giant hooks or having to eat tuna noodle casserole every Friday.

For most of us, creating and maintaining our perfect Temple is a life-long pursuit. Don't be surprised if your tastes change over time. Don't doubt your own sense of Yum just because the sun-and-moon themed futon cover you bought in the 90s, in a haze of incense and Lilith Fair, now makes you want to open a vein. Take it as a sign of your personal Yummish growth. Similarly, don't let fear stop you from buying the brown leather couch that may or may not look like something from a bad, hairy 70s Euro-porn flick. If it pleases you now, follow your Yum. (If nothing else, think of it as an investment in a future garage sale. Those are a fun and humiliating way to meet your neighbors.)

Your Temple should be the most comfortable environment you can establish, no matter what others may think of your personal taste. (Unless, of course, the approval of others is the most important thing for you, in which case, follow your own neurotic Yum.) Feng Sui-enthusiasts, IKEA-maniacs (me!), DIYers (not me!), and even Two-by-Four Cinder Block Bookshelf Guy (That may be sexist, but, honestly what are the odds it isn't a guy?) all have a place in the spectrum. What is important is that when you enter your Temple you are filled with yummy homely feelings. If a life size cut-out of Johnny Depp in his Pirates of the Caribbean drag enhances your Yum, or if it is a stupidly expensive blown glass piece - created by a former student of Chihuly and which doesn't look all that different from something you saw in Pier 1 last week for ¼ the price, but that you actually saw being hand-blown in a studio in Benicia - that brings you a deep sense of inner glee, then these become more than "objects" or "possessions". They are sacred relics.

By filling your dwelling with such sacred relics, sanctifying it through devotionals, and preserving and maintaining it with continual cleaning and shopping, you elevate it from mere home to most holy Yummish Temple. (No tax loopholes implied.) Treasure it as a place of peace and sanctity and keep it filled with the things and people you love.

Today's Yummish Exercise:
Add one new thing to your Temple, no matter how large or small. Also, improve one existing aspect of your Temple.

Next: Pets: Your Yummish Spirit Familiar

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