Wednesday, September 21, 2011

St. George and the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Meditations on the Stars Wars Saga on Blu-ray (Part 1)

Recently, the Yummish Council revisited the Joseph Campbell "Mythos" series, in preparation for the September release of St. George of Lucas' Star Wars films on Blu-ray. I'd hoped that it would help me better analyze one of our culture's most influential myths.

Below are the sad, sad results of my efforts. (or, as the man says, “I have a bad feeling about this.”)

The Phantom Menace

Every time someone says “Naboo,” I mentally substitute “Naboombu.”

One must be quite tall to successfully pull off the Jedi holocaust cloak look. The boots are cool, though.

Long-limbed, clumsy, mumble-mouthed... Do I hate Jar-Jar because he actually reminds me of myself?

...No. He just sucks. Renaming him “Jughead.”

I wonder if Kaiser offers Midi-chlorian tests?

A sci-fi universal truth: blue-skinned woman are always hot.

Skywalker is almost as cool a last name as Strider.

Qui-Gon Jinn  = Kwai Chang Caine  I have seen every episode of the 1970s TV show Kung Fu. Yet another example of the many ways in which I am awesome. 

Attack of the Clones

Do I see red in Ewan McGregor's beard? If so, that, combined with the BMW motorcycle thing, is almost enough to make me forgive his wang-baring in essentially every indie film of the 1990s.

George Lucas clearly also has a thing for motorcycles. Call us, George. We know all the sweet rides in the Bay Area.

Amidala = Nabooese for “enviable abs.”

Dooku... Dooku... tee-hee... Dooku...

Christopher Lee is a poor trade for Liam Neeson... but Jimmy Smits helps.

Many of the creatures in the Lucasverse look like they'd be tasty over steamed rice with a little soy sauce... or maybe deep fried in cornmeal...

Revenge of the Sith

Dream recast:
Anakin Skywalker – James McAvoy
Emperor Palpatine – John Hurt
Master Jedi Yoda – Kermit the Frog

Today's lesson: If you can find a take-away* from that bunch of nonsense, best of luck to you.

Next: Notes from three original Star Wars films... wherein we try to answer the question that is tearing our nation apart: Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

*Wait... An actual take-way:  From the Senior Member of the Yummish Council, Dr. Jim Strider:

I'm glad my silliness in re-watching the Star Wars movies has provided poodoo for the Yummish Blog.  (Poodoo means "fodder", right?)

Here's a couple of blurbs from wikipedia on the amygdala-

"In complex vertebrates, including humans, the amygdalae perform primary roles in the formation and storage of memories associated with emotional events. Research indicates that, during fear conditioning, sensory stimuli reach the basolateral complexes of the amygdalae, particularly the lateral nuclei, where they form associations with memories of the stimuli."


"Memories of emotional experiences imprinted in reactions of synapses in the lateral nuclei elicit fear behavior"

Yes, I think St. George considered that with regard to Amidala's name. Remember, the full story is all about Anakin Skywalker, so every object, event, and character must first be considered in it's relationship to him. And the fortuitous syllables "Ami" and "dala" (sounds like "doll-a").  I'm sure St. George considers himself  very clever for wrapping all that into one name.  ;-)

Master Yoda sez, "The unifying element of the six Star Wars films, Darth Vader is."


  1. The prequel films just suck. George Lucas has a lot to answer for.
    Yes, Amadila does have enviable abs. Bitch. And I'm glad I'm not the only one whose inner 12 year old boy comes out when I hear the name Dooku. ;)

    BTW, I can't wait for the next installment. I have very strong feelings about the whole who shot first thing.

  2. I didn't know wang-baring was an offense for which one had to be forgiven. The only time I've thought it a shame was when Kevin Bacon waited until he was old to wang-bare. BTW, Wang-baring almost sounds like a STAR WARS character.

    I see from Wikipedia that Aidan Barton played both Luke and Leia in the SITH film...interesting!

  3. Please allow me to clarify. I am in no way opposed to wang-baring in general. Just the opposite.

    Back in the day, though, it seems that EMcG's "talent" was becoming ubiquitous to the point of cliche.

    Me, watching essentially every indie film in the 1990s:

    "Hmmmm... that guy looks familiar. Have I seen him in something before?"

    (Sound of zipper being pulled)

    "Oh, it's Ewan McGregor."

  4. If only we could "like" comments! I'd "like" yours Michele.