Sixteen maybe be sweet, but it turns out that twenty years older is just twenty years hotter. Below are ten of the many ways in which I am sexier now than when I was a teenager:
Grey hair = naturally occurring highlights
My ever growing need for “mole checks” makes it easy to get my clothes off. (Does this thing look weird to you?)
Dark under-eye circles = that sexy, smokey-eye look without effort
My inability to stay awake past 10 PM makes it easy to get me into the sack.
Nothing says “Giddy-up, cowboy” like saddle bags. Also, love handles can be handy.
Spider veins = like those saucy fishnet stockings, only without the stockings
Cellulite provides textural interest, sort of like a Bob Ross painting
The effects of gravity over the years adds variety, keeping things interesting. (Hey, were those always there?)
The worse my eyesight gets, the better you look.
I know things. I've seen things. I've done things... and I even remember some of them.
Today's exercise: Embrace your age... or embrace the aged. Something like that.
Next: Hooray for Boobies!
Grey hair = naturally occurring highlights
My ever growing need for “mole checks” makes it easy to get my clothes off. (Does this thing look weird to you?)
Dark under-eye circles = that sexy, smokey-eye look without effort
My inability to stay awake past 10 PM makes it easy to get me into the sack.
Nothing says “Giddy-up, cowboy” like saddle bags. Also, love handles can be handy.
Spider veins = like those saucy fishnet stockings, only without the stockings
Cellulite provides textural interest, sort of like a Bob Ross painting
The effects of gravity over the years adds variety, keeping things interesting. (Hey, were those always there?)
The worse my eyesight gets, the better you look.
I know things. I've seen things. I've done things... and I even remember some of them.
Today's exercise: Embrace your age... or embrace the aged. Something like that.
Next: Hooray for Boobies!
*SNORT* Happy Trees!
ReplyDeleteI recently had the pleasure of introducing Jim to the old Bob Ross tv show. He was stunned.
ReplyDelete