The Primes of My Life: A Timeline

It has come to my attention that in spite of my best motorcycle-riding, wine-drinking, doughnut-eating efforts to the contrary, this Friday I will mark yet another birthday.

The 37th one. (They say a lady never tells her age. That remains the case.)

The prime of my life... Or one of them, at least...

Below is a chart outlining the many primes of my life, so far.

Age	Occupation	Chief Source of Entertainment	Chief Concern
3	Toddler	Sesame Street	Obnoxiously adorable blond baby brother hogging all of the parental attention
5	Wearer of pigtails	Water slides	Not falling down and busting out my front teeth during a dance recital
7	Brat	Roller skates	Meeting the expected yearly sales goals of both grade school fundraiser chocolate bars and Girl Scout cookies
11	Freckle-faced Nerd	Books	Getting a$$ kicked for reading books
13	Pseudo-goth	Applying layer upon goopy layer of cheap black eye make up and nail polish (Maybelline Great Lash forever!)	Skin under eyes stained permanently grey from too much cheap eye makeup. Ditto with the nails and black polish
17	Teen Airhead	Boys	Boys
19	Theater Major/Drama Queen	Parties	The aftermath of parties
23	Cog in the machinery of state bureaucracy	Motorcycle road trips	Finding more exciting roads
29	Marketing/PR	Starbucks Iced Caramel Macchiato – by the gallon	Caring far too much about my job
31	Marketing/Sales	Airline free drink vouchers	Caring far too little about my job
37	Writing my little stories	The voices in my head	That there are voices in my head to which I listen
41*	The World's Best Selling Author – EVER	The adoration of millions	Being crushed by an avalanche while attempting to scale a mountain of gold in my Scrooge McDuck-style money bin

Today's lesson: There are many “primes” in a lifetime. 

Next: More whining about my age! Whee!
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*Projected